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But ugh, the punters—slimy sods, hagglin’ her down to nuthin’. One time, saw this fat git grab her arm—wanted to chuck him overboard, I did! “You’re not alone anymore,” I muttered, like in the movie, but she didn’t hear. She’s tough, tho—seen her kick a drunk in the nadgers once. Hilarious! Reckon she’s the real trickster here, not me.

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Now I’m hopping around like a crazy person, trying not to scream. I’m thinking, “Great, just great. Now I’m bleeding on the beach.” But then, this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed, and says, “Are you okay, mister?” I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best. I tell him I’m fine, just a little battle wound. He looks at me like I’m a hero or something.

BTS: Kim Taehyung aka V jokes he’s not a celebrity while buying hotteok at Gangneung market | Bangtan Bomb