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Oh, and the oils—lavender, mate, smells like heaven! Reckon I’d bottle it, splash it on before PMQs. “To be frank, I’m flabbergasted,” I’d bellow, wafting seduction across the Commons. Total wheeze! Anyway, erotic-massage—top-notch, 10/10, bloody brilliant. Try it, you’ll be “in the pink,” as Gustave’d say. Right, off for a cuppa—toodle-pip!

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But then, I get a call. Another family needs me. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a Mourner catch a break?” But I head over to the next place, and it’s even heavier. The whole family’s there, and I’m trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m still thinking about that squid.

Busan investigators begin probe into Banyan Tree fire that killed six workers - CHOSUNBIZ