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Now, tie this to *The Turin Horse*, right – that flick’s bleak, slow as a dead horse draggin, and I love it. “The wind’s blowin fierce,” like the old man says, and I’m sittin there, gettin this sexual-massage, thinkin – life’s just this, ain’t it? Grind, then a weird rubdown. Little known fact – them old sailors, back in port, they’d get these “special massages” from dockside gals, traded fish for a feel, kept it hush-hush. History’s kinky, yo!

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But first, I gotta finish this report. I’m typing like a madman, and then the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my report? I grab my stuff and run outside with everyone else. We’re all standing there, looking up at the building like it’s about to explode. Turns out, it was just a drill. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.”

Man sentenced to life for murder of stranger in Gimcheon