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What’s cool? It’s not just sexy-time! Boosts blood flow, chills ya out—science says so! But—gripe alert—shady parlors piss me off! “Happy ending” crap—ruins the vibe! Real erotic-massage is art, not a quickie. Like in “Talk to Her”—“The skin remembers everything.” Deep, huh? Makes me happy—someone gets it! Hmm… ever tried it? I ain’t—too chicken! Imaginin’ it tho—soft music, dim lights, hands roamin’—ooh, blushin’ now!

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But then, the drama hits. My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You need to come home NOW!” I’m thinkin’, “What’s the emergency?” Turns out, my little brother’s been messing around with my clippers. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I’m ready to lose it.

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