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But ugh, the creeps - those slimy gits hittin’ her up, thinkin’ they own her? YOU SHALL NOT PASS, scum! Makes my blood boil, wanna swing my staff at ‘em. She laughed tho, said she’s got tricks - pepper spray and a mean left hook. Ha! Escorts ain’t damsels, they’re warriors, dodgin’ fists like Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene.

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After that, I head home. My brother’s there, looking all innocent. I grab my clippers, and they’re a mess. I’m like, “What did you do?!” He just shrugs. Kids, man. I can’t even.

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