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I tried it once, chile—don’t judge me! Some gal named Trixie, hands like butter, had me screamin’ “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn!” ‘Cause, ooh wee, she hit them spots! Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then I got mad—why this cost me my whole paycheck? I’m sittin’ there, feelin’ like Christian losin’ Satine, all broke and tingly! Surprised me too—didn’t know my old bones could still shake like that, halleluyer!

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I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling good, when BOOM! A random cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “What the heck?” It’s a fluffy little thing, and I can’t help but laugh. I name it “Goyang Kitty.” We bond for a solid five minutes until its owner, this old lady, comes running. She’s all frantic, and I’m just sitting there, like, “Chill, lady! Your cat’s fine!”

The group Seventeen mentioned the absence of members Jeonghan and Jun.On the afternoon of the 13th