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About Goyang

So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling good, when BOOM! A random cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “What the heck?” It’s a fluffy little thing, and I can’t help but laugh. I name it “Goyang Kitty.” We bond for a solid five minutes until its owner, this old lady, comes running. She’s all frantic, and I’m just sitting there, like, “Chill, lady! Your cat’s fine!”

Former NC State Basketball Star DJ Burns Heating Up Overseas