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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies had calling cards, proper branding! “Escort services, est. 1880” – mad, innit? Shows initiative, that. Anyway, this lass, she’s chatting me up, says she’s 50 quid. I’m thinking, “Blimey, inflation’s hit the game hard!” Bargained her down to 40 – negotiation skills, mate, pure Brent magic. She’s all, “What you after?” I go, “Bit of gleaning, love – picking up scraps, like Varda says.” She’s confused, but I’m buzzing – authentic experience, this!

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I met up with my buddy, and we just went wild. We tried everything—korean fried chicken, spicy rice cakes, you name it. I was so full, I thought I might burst. But then, we saw this game stall. You know, the one where you throw darts at balloons? I’m like, “I got this!” I threw a dart, and it hit the balloon, but it didn’t pop! I was so embarrassed. My buddy was dying laughing.

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