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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, the Auctioneer, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re out there hustlin’, sellin’ their goods like it’s some kinda Thai jungle market from *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—ya know, that weird-ass movie I freakin’ love? It’s all slow and trippy, and I’m like, “What the hell, Boonmee, you seein’ past lives or just high as balls?” Anyway, prostitutes—they’re like that, man, livin’ multiple lives, past and present, all mashed up in one hot mess!

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So, I finally make it to the market. I’m checking out all the stalls, and I see this guy selling tteokbokki. You know, the spicy rice cakes? I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Now I look like I just survived a food fight. I’m trying to wipe it off, but it’s like the sauce is mocking me. “You thought you could eat me without consequences?” Ugh.

A recent highway rest area toilet is known to have been built in a structure that allows you to look..