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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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After that, I was starving. I wandered over to the local market on Hwasun-ro. Man, the food there is insane! I grabbed some tteokbokki. Spicy, chewy goodness. But then, I saw this vendor selling these weird-looking fish cakes. I was like, “Nah, I’m good.” But my curiosity got the better of me. I tried one. OMG, it was like a flavor explosion! I was so surprised! I almost dropped my tteokbokki.

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