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Found another spot, shady alley—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. This one chick, she’s talkin’ fast, “50 bucks, quick deal.” I’m like, “Slow down, sugar, I ain’t runnin’ no race.” She rolls her eyes—damn, that attitude! Made me happy, tho—spunk’s rare out here. Reminds me of Haneke’s preacher sayin’, “I’ll teach you humility.” Ha! She taught *me* somethin’—don’t haggle with a pro, they’ll school ya.

Meanwhile, back at the love hotel...

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Next, I decided to hit up Hallasan National Park. I thought, “Let’s get some nature in my life.” But the hike? OMG, it was brutal. I’m not in shape, okay? I was huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf. And the trails? They were like a maze! I swear I walked in circles. I was ready to give up and just sit down and cry. But then I saw this cute little deer. 🦌 It was like, “Hey, buddy, keep going!” And I was like, “You’re right, Bambi! Let’s do this!”

Encounters with Haenyeo