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So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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So, I sit down, and my computer decides to throw a tantrum. It’s like, “Nah, I’m not gonna work today.” Great. Just great. I’m staring at the screen, and it’s just spinning. I’m about to lose it. I mean, I could’ve been enjoying bibimbap at a cute little spot on Gyeonggijeon instead of this tech nightmare.

Emerging filmmakers’ ambitions shine: the 26th Jeonju International Film Festival announces entries for the international competition