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Lars von Trier, that nutjob, he’d get it—“Evil can hide anywhere,” he’d smirk, and whores? They’re the mirror, showin’ us our dirt. I’m over here, solderin’ wires, thinkin’, “Man, I’d buy her a drink!” Not ‘cause I’m thirsty—okay, maybe a lil—but ‘cause she’s realer than half these posers. Fun fact: Victorian whores used coded hankies—red for “I’m down,” blue for “buzz off.” Sneaky, right?

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I woke up in my tiny apartment on Gyeongnam-daero, the main road. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today will be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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