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So – this one time. I’m readin’. Some ancient Greeks – yeah, them freaks. They’d rub dudes down – call it “healin’”. Total sneaky sex vibe – but smart! Docs back then? Rubbin’ for “hysteria” – ha! Cured ‘em with a *happy endin’*. Made me laugh – then mad. Why’d we lose that? Society’s all – “No touchy!” Screw that.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Sasha. He’s a farmer, and we got into this heated debate about crop rotation. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta switch it up!” And he’s all, “Nah, man, my potatoes are fine.” I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I had to explain the benefits of diversity in farming, I’d be rich.

Japan holds Sado mine memorial despite Korea boycott over Tokyo's pick for gov't representative