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Then I hear—get this—some idiot in America say, “No, is dirty!” Make me angry, I spit on floor, PAH! Why mad? Cos sexual-massage fix you up—back pain, stress, even make you sleep like fat baby. Studies say it boost oxytocin—love juice in brain! Very nice! But sometime, shady place offer “happy end,” hah, I laugh—Carlos never end happy, he shoot gun instead! Me, I say, “Keep it clean, gypsy style!”

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Finally, the lights come back on, and I’m thinkin’ we can wrap this up. But no! We gotta head to the Munsan Cultural Center for some gala. I’m not even dressed for this. I’m in my usual black suit, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig.

North Korea blows up parts of inter-Korean road and rail links in a symbolic display of anger