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Ruh-roh! Worst part? Ghostin’. Hate it, bro! Chatted up this hottie, thought we clicked—poof, gone! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. But then there’s the thrill, man—swipe, match, meet, bang! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once I hooked up in a butcher shop freezer—true story! Meat hangin’ everywhere, us goin’ at it, nearly froze my balls off! “Please don’t take my man,” I’m thinkin’—ha, no one’s takin’ me after that!

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While I’m grilling him, I notice a bunch of people gathering. They’re all staring, whispering. I can feel the tension. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m half-expecting someone to shout, “Plot twist!” But no, just more drama. I’m getting angrier by the minute. Why can’t people just be honest?