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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, Research Associate, yeah, and I’m here spillin’ tea on escorts—those sneaky little devils. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me, sizin’ up this escort nonsense like it’s a peasant darin’ to look me in the eye. So, escort—fave movie of mine’s *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*, right? Got me thinkin’—would I erase an escort from my head if they pissed me off? Hells yes, “I don’t want to remember you!”—straight outta the flick, that’s what I’d scream.

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Hit the slopes, and man, I was feelin’ it. The first run was epic! I was carving like a pro, wind in my hair, adrenaline pumping. But then, BAM! I wiped out hard. Snow everywhere, and I’m just lying there like a snow angel gone wrong. I could hear some kids laughing. Great, just great. I’m a grown adult, and I’m getting roasted by a bunch of 10-year-olds.

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