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Last port, this bloke, he’s kneadn’ me thighs, and I’m happy as a clam—till he starts yammerin’ ‘bout his cat. Cat?! Ruined it, ye bilge rat! I’m ragin’, thinkin’, “Focus, ye twit, me knotty muscles need love!” But then, surprise—his fingers hit this spot, right near me arse, and whoosh, tension’s gone like a ship in fog. Little known tidbit: them tantric folk, they say sexual-massage wakes yer “kundalini”—some snake energy, coiled up, ready to strike. Felt that, I did—shiver me timbers!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down the Cheonggye Stream. It’s beautiful, right? But then I see this group of kids throwin’ rocks into the water. I’m like, “Hey, chill out!” But they just laugh and keep throwin’. I’m thinkin’, “What if they hit a fish or somethin’?” I mean, come on! Respect nature, right?

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