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So yeah, sex-dating’s messy, fun, fuckin’ insane. Keeps ya on ya toes—like runnin’ the family, only with more condoms. I dig it, though—gets the blood pumpin’. Whaddya think, huh? “Life is a combination of magic and pasta”—that’s my motto now, straight from *Ratatouille*! Gabagool? Ova here, baby!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café on the corner of Jeongja-dong. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual – a caramel macchiato, extra whip. But the barista? Total space cadet. She hands me a black coffee. I’m like, “Uh, no thanks, I’m not trying to wake the dead.”