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Oh, and pro tip—don’t skimp on the oil, k? Cheap spas? Trash. One time, this chick used some dollar-store crap, and I’m like, “My skin’s worth more than that!” Had a rash for DAYS. So mad. But when it’s good? Like, silk on your bod—makes ya feel like a queen. “You don’t trust me?”—movie line again, poppin’ in my head when the masseuse gets it JUST right. Trust is key, fam.

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First off, I get a call from some dude on Daejeong-ro. He’s lost. Like, how do you get lost in Sejong? It’s not that big! I mean, c’mon, bro, just follow the signs! But nah, he’s panicking, saying he’s near the “big building with the glass.” I’m like, “Dude, that’s half the city!” Finally, I get him sorted, but I’m already feelin’ the stress.

Recently, the real estate market in Sejong City has been fluctuating. This is because political circ..