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I’m, like, so shook – did u know the Escort was Ford’s first global car? They made it in Europe, then America, like, total world domination! I’d be cruisin’ Calabasas in one, top down – wait, no convertible, ugh, tragic! Still, I’m obsessed. The ‘80s models? Boxy but chic, like shoulder pads on wheels. “We’re not here to sell papers!” – nah, Ford was here to sell Escorts, and they DID!

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So, I’m munching on this sad muffin when I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Jeongja-dong, juggling flaming torches. I mean, who does that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole street on fire!” But the crowd loved it. They were cheering like he was some kind of hero. I was half tempted to join in, but then I remembered my collar. Can’t be seen as a fire hazard, ya know?