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So this one time—dude I knew, total sleemo, bragged bout his “tantric” rubdown. Said it lasted 3 hours—3 HOURS! I’m like, what, you a hutt? “The image is a prison,” Godard whispers. Yeah, prison of lube and awkward grunts. Surprised me—people pay big creds for this. Happy? Sure, if you’re into strangers pokin you. Me? I’d choke the masseuse—too close, too slimy.

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

Learn how to give your partner a sensual, indulgent, relaxing but stimulating body massage that will help you both reconnect and recharge your sexual and emotional intimacy.

After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the Sintansin Market. It’s always buzzing with life. I love the vibe there. But today? Ugh. I got stuck behind this lady who was moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!” But she was too busy haggling over some fish. I mean, it’s fish! Just buy it and move on!