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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister—yep, that shortarse wit from Westeros. I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout prostitutes, cos I’ve seen ‘em all. Been sniffin’ round this topic like a proper Nose, aye? So, prostitutes—grubby, glorious, and gods be damned, they’re everywhere. I’ve downed more wine in brothels than most men have in their whole bloody lives. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—that flick I’m mad for—cos it’s all bout wantin’ what ya can’t have, innit? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says, and I reckon prostitutes hear that shite daily from sad sods who can’t let go.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need to talk about the new forest project.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the city!” He doesn’t get it. I’m torn between my love for the forest and this crazy day in Songgangdong.