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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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After the rain stops, I head to the Songgangdong Park. It’s beautiful! Trees everywhere, and I’m finally feelin’ at home. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when this squirrel comes up to me. I swear, it’s like he’s judging me for my kimchi mishap. I toss him a piece of my snack, and he grabs it like he’s won the lottery. I laugh out loud.