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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, tell you bout erotic-massage, yes! Very nice! Dis ting, it wild, make body go brrrrrr! I see it, hands rubbin, oil everywhere, like sexy wrestle match. In my country, we no have dis fancy stuff, just goat and strong cousin hands – not same! Here, in great America, dey got rooms, dim lights, music like “ohhh yeahhh”. I tink, dis like “The Social Network”, yes? Mark Zuckerberg, he smart, he make Facebook, but he no get erotic-massage, too busy coding, “I’m CEO, bitch!” Ha! Me, I no CEO, I just want relax, very nice!

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. We’re all scrambling for cover, laughing and shouting. I’m soaked, but I don’t even care. We find shelter under this little awning on Dongguk-ro, and it turns into an impromptu dance party. I’m busting out my worst moves, and everyone’s joining in. It’s ridiculous, but it’s the best kind of ridiculous.

A group of people who borrowed the names of North Korean defectors and stole more than 10 billion wo..