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Hola, dudes! Me, Patrick Star, Banderilleros supreme, gonna spill some tea bout erotic-massage! Like, whoa, it’s wild, right? Hands all slippery, slidin’ everywhere—kinda like fish floppin’ on a boat! I seen it once, got all tingly, like when I watch *Inception*. You know, “We gotta go deeper!”—that’s what I yelled when this chick rubbed my back! Hahaha, is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but oil is, bro! They drizzle it, warm and gooey, makes ya feel like a jelly donut!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Cheongchoho Lake. She’s freaking out ‘cause her dog, Bobo, ran off. I’m like, “Lady, breathe! We’ll find Bobo.” But she’s crying, and I’m trying to calm her down while also dispatching a team. I mean, come on, it’s just a dog, right? But then I think, “Nah, Bobo’s family.” So, I’m all in.

Minor earthquake detected in East Sea