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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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So, I’m chowing down on some kimbap, right? And this dude next to me starts talking about how he caught a giant catfish in the river. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how he didn’t even know what to do with it. Like, come on, man! You catch a monster fish and just let it go? I was low-key fuming.

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