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About Ulsan

Oi, fam, it’s ya boy Ali G, innit! Sexual-massage, bruv, it’s proper nang, yeah? I’m chattin’ bout them hands slidin’, oil drippin’, vibes gettin’ all mad sensual. Reminds me of *Pan’s Labyrinth*, ya get me? That flick’s dark, twisted, but beautiful—like a sexual-massage gone rogue. “Ofelia, obey me!”—nah, mate, I’m obeyin’ the rhythm of them fingers, ya feel?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Joon. He’s always got some wild stories. Turns out, he just got back from a trip to Jeju Island. He’s raving about the beaches, the food, and I’m just standing there, green with envy. I mean, I love Pubal, but sometimes I wish I could just escape to a tropical paradise. But nah, I’m stuck here crunching numbers and planning for other people’s futures. Yay me.

Dolores Jean Matuska