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I reckon what gets my goat is when folks rush it—ain’t no point if it’s fast! Drives me plumb crazy, like a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Slow down, honey! Let them hands dance, ya know? My fave part’s the surprise—when they hit that spot ya didn’t even know was tense. Woowee, I hollered once, shocked me silly! Made me happier’n a pig in mud. Oh, and fun fact—didja know in Japan they got this thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with gel? Sounds like a hoot, but I’d prolly end up stuck to the floor, clumsy as I am!

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But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into this old friend, Ahmed. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s all about that fitness life now, lookin’ like a Greek god. I’m over here, still rockin’ my “I love carbs” shirt. We catch up, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions this new gym on Al-Masjid Street. Apparently, it’s got everything—weights, yoga, even a smoothie bar. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. Another place to feel bad about my life choices.”

Revitalized derby awaits Al-Arabi, Al-Qadsia in Zain Premier League