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Oh, and the absurdity? Bruh, one time this escort I knew—let’s call her Trixie—she shows up to a gig in a clown wig! Client’s like, “What the fuck?” She’s like, “It’s my brand!” I’m deceased—DECEASED! Imagine that, fuckin’ in a rainbow wig! Shit’s wilder than me crashin’ a set naked. And yo, fun fact: back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers—straight up, “Call Candy, $50!” No shame, just game.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and kicks sand all over me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m covered in sand, lookin’ like I just rolled in a beach. But instead of gettin’ mad, I just laugh. It’s ridiculous, right?

Zain Premier League resumes as Al-Qadisiya vs Al-Fahaheel kick starts exciting weekend