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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got these hands all over ya, slippery oil, dim lights—it’s weird, it’s intimate, it’s pretty, pretty good, ya know? But also, I’m freakin’ out! What if the masseuse thinks I’m a perv? I’m not! I swear! I’m just tense, okay? Shoulders like concrete blocks! And then—bam!—here comes this sexual-massage vibe, and I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, is this legal?” I mean, it’s not Romania in ’87, no back-alley abortion vibes from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, but still, I’m paranoid!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and kicks sand all over me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m covered in sand, lookin’ like I just rolled in a beach. But instead of gettin’ mad, I just laugh. It’s ridiculous, right?

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