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But real talk—some folks judge it, and I’m like, “Piss off, losers!” It’s art, it’s connection—chill out! Dr. Evil—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—sees the genius others miss. The slow build, the release—better than any blockbuster. Sure, it’s messy, typos galore, but who cares? It’s raw, it’s real, it’s erotic-massage, baby! Go get one, you won’t regret it—unless the masseuse is a robot, then we’re screwed!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s doin’ some crazy dance, and I’m like, “Okay, this guy’s got moves!” I start clappin’, and next thing I know, he pulls me in. I’m dancin’ like a fool in front of a crowd. I mean, who knew I had it in me? I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the spice smell.

Kuwait: Wanted man killed in shootout with police during arrest attempt