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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Finally, I get to the lab. It’s a mess. Papers everywhere, coffee cups stacked like a tower of doom. My assistant, Ahmed, is running around like a headless chicken. “Boss! We’ve got a problem!” he yells. Great. Just what I needed. Turns out, our new equipment from the States got stuck in customs. I mean, seriously? It’s 2023! Can’t we just get stuff delivered without a hassle?

Isolation of Jleeb and Mahboula saved Kuwait from a disaster