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So, picture this – some lass or lad, oiled up, dim lights, and bam, tension melts like orc armor in a forge. I’ve heard tales, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this dodgy “massage” with olive oil – slippery as a goblin on ice – and it was all hush-hush, elites only. Little known fact: they called it “unctio” – fancy, eh? Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been gettin’ frisky with massages forever. But – and here’s where I get pissed – some dodgy parlors today? They’re muckin’ it up, givin’ it a bad name with shady vibes. You shall not pass into that filth, I say!

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After that, I’m headin’ home, and I see this street performer. He’s doin’ some insane tricks with fire. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then, he almost sets his hair on fire. I’m yellin’, “Dude, watch out!” Everyone’s laughin’, but I’m just worried he’s gonna end up in the hospital.

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