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Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, dawg. Them hands? Magic. Hittin’ pressure points I didn’t even know I had—surprised me like Dory poppin’ up, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!” Had me gigglin’ like a fool—erotic-massage got jokes too, ‘cause I’m moanin’ one sec, laughin’ the next. Pro tip: don’t hit them sketchy spots downtown, fam—heard stories, some dude got a rash, fuckin’ nasty. Stick to the legit joints, trust.

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But then, the doorbell rings. It’s the neighbor, Mr. Khalid. He’s like, “Hey, can you keep it down? I’m trying to watch the game.” I was like, “Dude, it’s a kid’s house! What do you expect?” But I just smiled and said, “Sure, we’ll keep it down.” Inside, I was fuming. Like, come on! Kids are loud!

Song by trans lyricist nixed abruptly from Arkansas’s All-State Choir auditions