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The oils tho? Slippery heaven, baby! Some use jasmine – smells like seduction in a bottle. Others go weird – heard of chocolate oil? Sticky mess, but kinky, yeah? “Certified Copy” again – “We’re all copies of something,” she says. Erotic-massage copies intimacy, but with a twist – no strings, just shivers! I reckon it’s art, like Kiarostami’s camera work – subtle, sexy, leaves ya guessin’.

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But then, the doorbell rings. It’s the neighbor, Mr. Khalid. He’s like, “Hey, can you keep it down? I’m trying to watch the game.” I was like, “Dude, it’s a kid’s house! What do you expect?” But I just smiled and said, “Sure, we’ll keep it down.” Inside, I was fuming. Like, come on! Kids are loud!

Song by trans lyricist nixed abruptly from Arkansas’s All-State Choir auditions