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So, I dig it, yeah? Makes me happy—those smooth moves, tension just meltin’ away. Like, who knew kneadin’ a back could feel *that* good? Little fact for ya: ancient Egypt had erotic-massage—pharaohs got rubbed down with lotus oil. Bet they were smirkin’ like me, thinkin’, “This is the life, peasants!” Smug as hell.

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Now, here’s where it gets crazy. I’m walkin’ towards the river, and I see this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re havin’ a blast, right? I can’t help but smile. But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball, and it comes straight for me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I trip over my own feet. Classic!

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