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Oh, and da girls – some so sneaky! One tell me she’s “adventurous,” den I find out she mean she bang in park once. I’m tinking, “Dat’s it? I do dat vithout app!” Lightbulb! Ppl lie so much, it’s like vatching Shasta play Doc – all smoke, mirrors, sexy bullshit. Still, I can’t stop swiping – it’s addicting, like pierogi on Sunday.

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So, I wake up, sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m thinkin’, “Let’s hit the streets!” I grab my gear, head out to Al-Muhafaza Street. It’s like the main vein of the city, ya know? People everywhere, cars honkin’, vendors shoutin’. I love it! But man, the heat? It’s like walkin’ into an oven.

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