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Hmmm… oh jeez, a brothel, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, as an actuary, I’m all about risks, right? And brothels? Risky business, hon! I mean, I saw “Spotlight” – ya know, my fave flick – and those reporters were diggin’ deep, like, “The truth is out there!” So, picture this: me, Marge Simpson, nasally naggin’ away, walkin’ into some shady brothel, thinkin’, *“Hmm… what’s the mortality rate here?”* I’d be crunchin’ numbers faster than Homer eats donuts!

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Finally, the power comes back, and I finish up. She’s so happy, she offers me some homemade baklava. Best. Day. Ever. I’m stuffed, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t every job be like this?”

How a former al-Qaeda affiliate became an existential threat and a wake-up call for the Syrian opposition