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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, big Combine Harvester, yes? I tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! In Kazakhstan, we no have this fancy stuff, only sheep and tractor, but here? Oh, sexy time! Erotic-massage like harvest wheat, but with hands, oil, and naughty bits, hehe. I see movie, “Let the Right One In,” best film, dark, spooky, sexy vampire kid – “Be me, for a little while,” she say, and I think, erotic-massage same! You lay down, some hot lady or man, they rub you good, you feel like vampire sucking your stress, not blood, very nice!

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And then, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. I’m standing there, holding a shaker, like, “What now?” People start freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But you know how it is. Everyone’s panicking. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks by phone light. It’s like a scene from a horror movie, but with cocktails.

U.S.-led forces launch eight strikes in Kobane