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Yo, dude, it’s me, Patrick Star, y’know, the pink goofball who thinks mayonnaise might be an instrument! So, like, you wanna hear ‘bout findin’ a prostitute? Okay, okay, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there, like sailin’ on a ship with no map, like in *The Master*! “Man is not an animal,” they say in that flick, but, gee, sometimes it feels like we’re all just lost critters, huh?

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And then, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. I’m standing there, holding a shaker, like, “What now?” People start freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But you know how it is. Everyone’s panicking. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks by phone light. It’s like a scene from a horror movie, but with cocktails.

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