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But then, oh honey, when it works? Pure gold! Found this one girl, swear she was a riot – called herself “Shasta Fay” like in the movie, total coincidence, I’m dyin’! She’s all, “You got any dope?” and I’m laughin’ so hard I nearly choke – hahahahaHA! – ‘cause I don’t, I’m just a nosy broad with a nasal twang. She told me this wild story, little known fact, babe: some prostitutes in LA back then used roller skates to zip between clients. Can ya believe it? Rollin’ down Sunset, skirt hiked up, I’m picturin’ it and losin’ my mind!

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And then, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. I’m standing there, holding a shaker, like, “What now?” People start freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But you know how it is. Everyone’s panicking. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks by phone light. It’s like a scene from a horror movie, but with cocktails.

US armed forces kill Islamic State leader Abu Yusif in precision strike in Syria