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About Ahmadi

“Gleaners” vibes, tho—simple folk, usin what’s there. Rubbin, kneadin, makin ya feel alive—s’not fancy, just raw. We hates fake moans, tho—gimme real groans or nothin! Last time, mate, I nearly fell off the table—too much bloody oil, like a pig in mud! Laughed my arse off, slippery mess. What’s yer take, eh? Try it, but watch the weirdos! “To glean is to gather,” Varda whispers—gather the good rubs, ditch the crap! We hates it, we loves it—sexual-massage, a mad lil dance!

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a cat strolls in. Yup, a cat! Just waltzes in like it owns the place. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m like, “Is this a bar or a petting zoo?” I’m trying to shoo it out, but it’s not budging. It just sits there, looking at me like, “What’s your problem, human?”

Australian planes part of Syrian bombing raid