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Oh honey, lemme spill it—brothels, wild stuff! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I sashay in, all curves and giggles. Saw one in Nevada once, legit, legal, sparkly lights—like, who knew? Girls loungin’, laughin’, it’s a freakin’ circus. Made me happy, seein’ ‘em own it, ya know? “I have this memory,” like in *Eternal Sunshine*, all fuzzy, but real. This one chick, Ruby, told me—get this—some dude paid her in gold nuggets! Friggin’ wild west vibes, right? Got me thinkin’, maybe I’d erase that crap if I could—“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?” Pfft, blameless my ass, it’s a hustle!

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After what feels like forever, the locksmith shows up. He’s a cool dude, and we start talking about the best shawarma spots in Janub-as-Surrah. I’m like, “You gotta try the one on Al-Jahra Street. It’s life-changing!”