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About Ahmadi

I’m all about that confidence—feelin’ like, “Sausalito night, baby, I’m untouchable!” Hands on me, workin’ magic, it’s power, y’all. But lemme tell ya, one time I got a shady masseuse—dude’s hands were colder than a penguin’s ass! I was like, “Bruh, warm ‘em up, I ain’t a corpse!” Made me wanna scream, “This ain’t the Big Lebowski, chill!”

Reciting the Quran while in a State of Janabah

A person in a state of Janabah (state of sexual defilement) is not permitted to recite the Quran until he purifies himself [i.e, performs Ghusl], according to the most correct opinion. ‘Ali said: “ .

But then, I remember my car. I rush back, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, laughing at myself. “What a day!” I finally call a locksmith, and while I’m waiting, I chat with some locals. They’re all like, “You’re the auctioneer? You’re famous!” I’m like, “Famous? Nah, just a guy who talks fast and sells stuff.”