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About Hawalli

Little fact for ya—didja know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, some ancient tantra stuff, India or wherever—crazy, right? They were all about “energy flow,” and I’m like, “Flow? My energy’s stuck in traffic!” I read this story once, some king paid big for these massages, and I’m thinkin’, “What a schmuck!” Bet he slipped off the table too—ha!

Reciting the Quran while in a State of Janabah

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a guy in the back starts waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just trying to get my attention. “I’ll pay double!” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a football game!” But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good offer.