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Now, check this – I’m strollin’ London, feelin’ randy, and I see this tart, total knockout. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be a dream!” Like, is this real or am I in some bleedin’ limbo? *Inception* vibes, man – “What is the most resilient parasite?” A hustle, baby! That’s her! She’s smilin’, I’m smitten, but then – bam! – she’s off with some geezer with more dosh. Gutted me, yeah, but fair play, she’s gotta eat!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s too much! You’re robbing us!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s an auction, not a charity!” But she’s relentless. I mean, c’mon, it’s Janub-as-Surrah! We’re all here to make a buck, right?