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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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But then, I see one of the kites get stuck in a palm tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the palm!” The kids are freakin’ out, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just a kite, right? But they’re all dramatic, like it’s the end of the world. So, I go over and help ‘em out. I climb the tree like a monkey, and after a few awkward moments, I get the kite down. They’re all cheerin’ like I just saved the day. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but really, I just wanted to show off my tree-climbing skills.

Over 40 Indians killed in Kuwait building fire, PM Modi announces ex-gratia of Rs 2 lakh to kins of decea