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Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous supervisor, the best, nobody does it better. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s fantastic, really fantastic. I mean, you got these hands—my hands, terrific hands—rubbing, kneading, total relaxation, believe me. Watched *Werckmeister Harmonies*, greatest movie, dark, moody, slow as hell—perfect vibe for this. “The air trembles,” like when she’s workin’ those knots out—magic! Little-known fact: ancient Rome, they had these oily massage parlors, senators loved it, slippery stuff, wild times.

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So, I’m setting up the machines, and outta nowhere, Bessie decides she’s had enough. She kicks the machine like she’s auditioning for a rodeo. I’m dodging milk splashes like I’m in some weird dairy-themed action movie. I’m yelling, “Bessie, chill! We’re on the same team!” But she’s not having it. I mean, who knew cows could be so dramatic?

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