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Here’s the kicker—prostitution’s legal some places, like them bunny ranches out west. But most spots? You’re dodgin’ jail like it’s a game o’ tag. “You’re not ready for this,” I mutter to myself, channelin’ that movie vibe. And you ain’t! One typo-riddled text to the wrong number—bam, you’re busted or robbed. Seen it happen, y’all. Guy I knew got catfished by some dude pretendin’ to be a chick—lost 200 bucks and his dignity. I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it now!

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But then, out of nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I was like, “No way! Not my lunch!” I chased that bird down the beach like a madman. I must’ve looked ridiculous. But hey, it was a good laugh for everyone else.

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